TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are in our “It is well” series. When we planned this series, we had no idea what would transpire in our country this week. Learning to ‘follow well’ seems even more important this week than it did last week. Let’s learn to follow well in our families so that we can take those skills and impact our communities and our country, for Christ.
Do you remember playing the game ‘follow the leader’ as a child? Many of us failed miserably at the game. We got distracted. We didn’t like where the leader was leading. We listened to somebody else who wasn’t actually in charge. We didn’t hear the directions and then led everyone else behind us off the path. And on and on. When I was in a leadership role at our homeschool tutorial, a mom came to me and said, “Tell me what to do. I am not a good leader, but I am an excellent follower.” Having always led (or well, tried to lead) I was quite taken aback by her statement. But, her joy in being a good follower made me rethink following and leading.
Learning to follow well is extremely important, especially when our society tells us that to be successful, we must lead well. As we mentioned last week, Jesus Christ is a servant leader. Serving includes following in certain measures. God tells us in Philippians that we need to follow well. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” (Philippians 2:3-8)
Ephesians 5:21 reminds us to ‘submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.’ Following is not an inferior position to leading. We must choose to follow to strengthen our family and its functionality. Remember that following takes courage and self-control. Following allows us to support one another.
So, how do we follow well?
First, we must:
1. Understand that God is the ultimate leader and following Him well is paramount to living a life that is genuinely Christ-like. Isaiah 58:11 points out that “The Lord will guide [us] continually.”
Secondly, we must:
2. Respect the family leader. We realize that this SHOULD go without saying, but it often doesn’t. Wives get irritated that their husbands “aren’t doing enough” or “won’t pray often enough” – you get the picture. Husbands will sometimes have false ideas of what it means to be the leader of the household and do not respect Mama and the managerial leadership role she plays in not only the kids but also his life – medically, nutritionally, activity, etc. Mamas working in and out of the home are called the “Managers of the Home” for a reason. Parents, sometimes you need to allow your child to step into a leadership role and follow them well so that they see what that looks like. A family is more effective when each of your strengths are celebrated, and each person follows well in turn.
To follow well, we must also:
3. Ask questions! Yes, even the dumb ones because, truly, the only dumb question is the unasked question. A leader typically has the goals and plan in mind but may not have communicated them completely well, and in a family, we are often all figuring it out together. By respectfully asking the questions you have, you help your family leader lead better.
Finally, two questions to ask yourself as you follow the authority in your home:
4. Do you know the agenda? Listening to the family member leading the particular event you are dealing with right now allows you to know what the next steps are. If you do not care about the plan the leader is sharing, you are not following well.
5. And, the second question is… Do you hold yourself accountable? While the leader will ask and direct the plan, you must require yourself to follow that plan. For example, when your parent or spouse suggested you think and pray about a Family Word of the Year, did you do so or did you just dismiss the idea until the next time he brought it up? If you aren’t following through on the steps given to you by your family leader, you aren’t following well.
Ah, Five Minute Families, knowing how to build each other up, knowing when to lead and when to follow, knowing the goals of growing well and serving well – all of these take much prayer and much consideration. We must choose to live life intentionally. We must choose our five minutes a day to snowball to five minutes an hour, until each moment we are connected to our Lord and living for our loved ones good and God’s glory. May God bless you this week as you seek to follow well!