TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are finishing our ‘Begin with the End in Mind’ series. As we have journeyed backward through milestones, we reach the milestone every parent anticipates… the end of childhood. Of course, our children think that end comes sooner than it does, and some of us parents who are ready for the kiddos to fly the coop will still miss them as terribly as the parents who have been crying and posting about all the “last firsts” – such as the last first day of school.
If we are able, we will have 18 years of constant, daily influence. After that, adulthood will greatly alter our relationships with our children. We once knew a family whose seventeen-year-old daughter was making many unwise decisions and ignoring all of her parents’ efforts to help her, but when most families would have washed their hands and determined that it was just too late to make a difference, this family knew that legally their influence would change dramatically after her 18th birthday, so they acted radically in her final months with them – sending her to live with family who would be super strict and where she would have no contacts outside of trusted family. Nine years later they have a beautifully redeemed relationship in which both parents and the now-adult child are thankful for the last-ditch effort her parents made to make a positive difference in her life. Her parents knew that the end goal of parenting a minor is to produce a godly adult – not a successful adult, not a happy adult, not even a productive adult, but a godly adult.
Why does that mindset – the mindset of godliness – matter so much more than success, happiness, productivity, or anything else really? 1 Timothy 4:8 reminds us, “godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” So, biblically speaking, what is godliness? Godliness is not just behaving morally. Godliness is not serving consistently at church. Through his study and exegesis of the story of Enoch, Jerry Bridges summaries that “we could accurately say he was devoted to God. [and] this is the meaning of godliness.” Devotion to God is godliness. Godliness will then lead us to be kind, to work hard, to enjoy life, to serve, and all the rest.
So, five-minute families, how do you being with the end in mind and work toward raising godly children:
First, if you are still a parent to young children, make some wise choices now and be consistent. Read some great Christian parenting books. Speak with some older Christian couples in the church to get their recommendations, and pray. Pray without ceasing.
Second, if you have made mistakes, ask forgiveness and work to make it right. Hezekiah did what he could to raise Manasseh in the knowledge of the Lord, but Manasseh turned his back on the Lord for a number of years. When Manasseh sought out the Lord and humbled himself, God delivered him and Manasseh began to make the changes to honor and glorify the Lord. You can make those changes, too.
Third, realize that your time is shorter than you think. If providing the most toys for your kids (whether those are little kid toys or big kid toys) keeps you from spending time with your kids, then you need to rethink your priorities. Hospice care and other caregivers report that they have never heard anyone wish on their death bed that they had spent more time at the office. Work hard, parents, but play hard, too. Find the balance between provision of needs and provision of YOUR time.
Fourth, as I have told our boys for years… It is never too late to do the right thing! If your children are now adults and you are just coming to the Lord, you can still apologize for the difficulties that may have come from living a godless life when they were younger. Understand their possible skepticism, but keep your eyes on Jesus and point to Him whenever you can.
And, fifth, if you have more than one child, realize that you have changed as life has changed. You must be intentional to communicate about your changes in parenting. Your eldest may resent the loosening of rules for younger siblings, but with open communication, you can still work to build strong relationships.
We want to close with Deuteronomy 6 verses 4 through 6 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.” Be blessed!