Good morning, Five Minute Families! Parents, have you ever paused long enough to think about what your biblical role is in your child’s life? Not just your earthly role of feeding, cleaning, clothing, and teaching roles to avoid neglect, but truly, why did God put you together as a family?

A role is defined as “the function assumed or part played by a person in a particular situation.” In psychology a role includes “a coherent set of behaviors expected of an individual in a specific position within a group or social setting.” Each of us has a role to play in our family unit. Some of us will fight those roles for various societal or selfish reasons, but as parents who have chosen to bring children into the world, we must take some time to think about our role in our kiddos’ lives.

Remember this essential truth – we do NOT own our kids. God does. The old adage “I brought you into this world so I can take you out” is fundamentally false and not biblical! GOD weaved our children together. HE brought them into this world, not us. As He states in Ezekiel 18:4, “Behold, all souls are Mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is Mine.” Five-minute parents, we are simply stewards of these precious blessings whom God has entrusted to us.

So, if we are stewards of our children for a select time because “[t]he earth and everything in it, the world and its inhabitants, belong to the LORD” (Psalm 24:1), then we must adopt that thought of 3 John 1:4 that we will “have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

Now that we have established the core biblical belief that our children are God’s and not our own and the thoughts of focusing our time and efforts on seeing our children walk in His truth, let’s explore five of the primary set of behaviors that a godly parent should exhibit in his or her role.

As mentioned at the beginning, we do have to meet our children’s physical needs, just as 1 Timothy 5:8 points out, “But if anyone doesn’t provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Our selfish desires can hinder our provision for our family when we focus more on our own wants over our family’s wants.  On the other side of that coin is that we can overprovide things that can spoil the child. We must meet needs as well as find the balance of meeting their wants.

Second, parents must remember that we have a responsibility to watch over our children’s emotional health as cautioned in Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, don’t provoke your children so that they won’t be discouraged.” Encourage one another daily. There are numerous Bible passages that speak to encouragement. Think about how you can change your times of discouragement to encouragement, not false encouragement, but even when no encouragement is an option, work on constructive criticism out of a heart of love not tearing down.

Third, we must remember that raising our children will be a deeply emotional experience for ourselves as well, and we cannot let our emotions control our responses. Proverbs 10:1 points out that “A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.” Biblical parents cannot teach and guide from grief and embarrassment. But, rather, we can bring God into the conversation as Deuteronomy 6:6-7a demonstrates, “these commands that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children.” Point your children to Christ and not yourself.

Fourth, parents have a spiritual responsibility to their children. Ephesians 6:4 states, “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Training and instruction in the Lord must be intentional and Christ-like.

And, fifth, we must realize that true biblical parenting means letting go. Helicopter and parachute parenting are all too common now, and even treating our young children even younger and less capable than they are is problematic.  We can never lead our children to fulfill Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh“ – if we are trying to constantly control or hover over them.

Obviously, parenting is a multi-faceted job. But, it is a job that is a blessing in its role, purpose, and meaning. Invite God into the midst of your lives; parent from a heart to serve Him, and He will reveal relational blessings that you have only ever dreamed of. Be blessed!