Good morning, Five Minute Families. We hope you and yours are doing well this week. As the seasons change here, we are reminded of the constant changes that happen in life, especially in family life. Change does not only happen when big events happen – events such as the birth of a new baby, moving, or a new job. Change comes in our families as our children grow and a new milestone is reached. Think back to all the changes that came with your child’s first step!

Change can be exciting and it can also be intimidating, especially when one member of the family is excited for the upcoming change and another member is dreading it. We can never assume the good and wonderful things that we anticipate coming are expected in the same way by our children or our spouse. For example, even something as exciting as your two growing daughters getting their own bedrooms for the first time, may cause a cascade of changes and secondary impacts. One daughter may love it while the other feels extremely lonely. The family as whole may see that the girls stop spending as much time in the living room with the family during mundane, routine events. Other children may feel restricted in the individual, separated bedrooms when they had previously gathered all together in the joint bedroom, leading them to act out. And on and on.

So, what can you do to address changes that are happening in a positive and godly way?

Always remember to keep the lines of communication open. Never assume that each family member is handling the change in the same way. Ephesians 4:29 reminds us that our communication needs to build one another up and it needs to “fit the occasion” to give grace to those who hear, so you are going to need to stay mindful of listening for what each family member may be saying or not saying due to the change.

Likewise, don’t try to “fix” your loved one’s feelings about the change. Accept the feelings. The Bible says in Romans 15:7 “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.”

This goes hand in hand with lines of communication, but do try to gain an accurate understanding of the feelings and thoughts your family member is having surrounding the change. This is not just for you to understand them, but also so that if the family member themselves is holding onto a misunderstanding, misperception, or even blatantly false belief, you can address it lovingly and gently. Keep in mind Proverbs 14:12-13, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief” as well as Proverbs 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Identify what can be held constant in your family life in order to help family members have a sense a stability in the midst of the change. One constant to always keep in mind is 1 Corinthians 15:58, “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” No matter what is going on, we can stop, pray, study His word, and hold onto God’s truths.

And, finally, don’t forget to evaluate the impact of the change on the family identity you are cultivating. When a child goes to school for the first time or leaves for college, the identity of the family alters. Certain things will never change, of course. We are children of God, if we have been saved. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” And, the Lord created each of us uniquely and wonderfully, so when things change with one of us, He will allow change within the family unit as well. That will give the whole family a chance to grow closer to God and to one another.

As you reach out to each other, one anothering and demonstrating kindness, take the time to thank God for the constants and for the changes. Trust Him to grow each of you out of being stagnant while He creates in your family a plan and a purpose to live for Him. He intends for all things to work together for His glory and our good, so if the change that is happening seems overwhelming or quite limiting, God can and will use it for a greater purpose. Lean into Him and into one another.

We do thank you for joining us today, and don’t forget to check out our website at clearviewretreat.org. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this or any of our past devotionals, which of course you can hear on your favorite podcast player.  Be blessed!