Good morning, Five Minute Families. What does your family do on a Sunday afternoon? On google trending, the most searches on an autumn Sunday afternoon center around professional football teams and their players. Have you ever thought about what you search for as a family? Do you search for acceptance? Do you seek fun? Do you desire peace and quiet? Stop for a moment and ponder that question… What does my family search for?

Some families go home and each go their separate ways… some to be on their devices, some to get some household tasks completed, some to rest for a wonderful Sunday nap. We need to search for opportunities to build our family identity instead.

We need to search for activities that will build good values in our children and strengthen them in ourselves. If we play a game, no one is allowed to cheat. If we can afford to go out to eat, everyone is polite and respectful to the staff. If we have some vegging time, we set boundaries to develop our brains wisely and in a balanced way.

We need to search for activities that instill a sense of belonging. You know, I recently felt very left out of something, and it hurt me a lot. I had to work through how God would want me to handle that. I am still not fully certain, but I know that running and hiding isn’t an option. You see, adults have a tendency to retreat into themselves. Children, on the other hand, will often behave badly to get any type of reaction from their parents because it is better than being ignored. We are created for relationship, so as a family, we have to be aware of each individual and their needs. Some need extra time and specific invitations to feel included; others will tag along to everything without thought or care. Some of us want group conversations and activities, and others of us want more one-on-one conversations.

We need to search out activities that build our dreams or help us create the dreams themselves. Working toward a goal together is beautiful. We learn new skills together. We overcome adversity together. We feel accomplished together. And, sometimes our intentional activities – which might be as simple as a guided discussion – will allow us to continue to build new dreams and make new goals, and in all of that we get to continue to support one another, as the Bible calls us to.

We need to search for activities that help us feel protected. No family should choose an activity that creates such a level of anxiety or negativity that an individual is left without a way to cope with the outcome. For example, some families might love to have the experience of jumping out of an airplane together, but one member may feel so anxious about it, that they shut down. The family might opt for rock climbing at an indoor climb space first (or for a while) to help the anxious family member do something a bit more daring than normal but not quite jumping out of an airplane – yet.

And, we need to search for activities that help us cope positively with the stress of this world we live in. As a family, we want to build one another up and challenge one another. This could mean that your family chooses an afternoon hike or bike ride. A simple walk will do, especially if someone in the family is facing a medical or physical challenge. This could mean asking for or offering help with an upcoming homework or work assignment. When I was tutoring science, gathering all of the random household items for my experiments was stressful, but when I engaged my kids in the search, I got to answer questions that help fill in the holes I didn’t even realize I had in the experiment, or it taught them something new while they contributed to our family life.

Of course, there are hundreds and hundreds of activities that families can do together, but no matter what your family is participating in, make sure that you have thought through the purpose – it can be about simple fun and laughs; or it can be about a very important lesson that needs to be taught.

Thank you for joining us today. And, do contemplate the question: what does my family search for? We want to let you know that if you are facing the upcoming holidays for the first time since the death of a loved one, Clear View Retreat has partnered with local groups in the Wartburg, Tennessee, area to host a ‘Grief Through the Holidays’ seminar on November 9, 2024. Please go to our website clearviewretreat.org and click on the upcoming events tab for more information. Be blessed!